Feeling her love

I am procrastinating working on Julia’s rose spray, trying to hold back the tears. I finished working on a shadow box for Julia, my angel, and had sent it into a very prominent framing store to get it installed into the frame. It has pictures on it, but most importantly the spray of pink roses (made from gum paste) I had made for Julia's first angelversary. I got a call yesterday that there was a problem with my order. They broke some of the petals off. I picked it up today expecting just a couple petals broken with high hopes that it could be fixed. Not just a couple broken off...more like five or six! I was completely devastated when they told me on the phone and seeing it in person was even worse. I procrastinated finishing this piece and finally had it done and now I have to work on it again. :***( I was really looking forward to the finished piece and just being able to hang it up.

The beautiful thing that happened with all of this is that I felt, I mean really felt, Julia being with me on the ride down to see the piece. She was sitting in the back seat on my right side. I could feel her presence on my right shoulder, just like I felt the emptiness on my left side in my belly after she was born, only today it was beautiful, comforting and sad all at the same time. Later when I had the piece and it was on the front seat beside me I felt that she had moved and was sitting with me in the front. It's the closest I have ever felt to her since she died. She was with me telling me it was okay - I couldn't stop crying.

I really hope I can fix it up so it looks okay again.