Happy moments

So, I've been out of town for a few days going downhill skiing with my husband. We absolutely wore ourselves out, but it was so nice to get away. I know that he and I both needed it. Right before I left I felt sad that I was leaving Julia's things at home, I felt like I wanted her near me. I took a few moments to say goodbye. At first I was thinking that I needed to leave her things at home because I didn't want to lose any of it, but now I think that perhaps it was good for me to have a break from my grief, from the memories and just have a good time. I never thought that I would have been able to do that before, go for a few days without really thinking of Julia and be HAPPY. In the past I didn't like to see people laughing, it made me feel ill, but now I am laughing again and it felt so good to feel that way again. I don't feel guilty, I know Julia was with us, her spirit will always be in my heart and in our memories.